Vaseline (100% Pure Petroleum Jelly) should be our best friend.

 I am a big advocate on proper grooming, especially when it comes to my personal appearance and the reason is simply because it is nasty to walk around without a good clean hair cut, beard trimmed or shaven off and most importantly, a good smelling deodorant to calm the loathsome fragrance from the arm  pits.  My teeth and tongue are regularly checked out by a licensed dentist to make sure they’re cleaned up properly in order to eliminate the rate of funk from the mouth.  In addition, I take great pleasure in using Vaseline on my lips to keep the ash away.

 If I devote this type of effort to be presentable to the public and to the people I love, it is simply because I want to assign everyone in my environment a fresh breath of dignity and honor.   

With that in mind, it is certainly refreshing to see few men and women devote the same amount of time and energy to join the movement in paying close attention to details about their personal grooming.  It is indeed a valid encouragement to see elbows and corner soles of someone’s feet, fairly and thoroughly acquainted with 100% white petroleum jelly better known as Vaseline, in order to keep the level of their ashy epidermis down and to smooth out soles’ surfaces so they don’t turn into switch
blades.   

I honestly don’t think that’s too much to ask.  In reality, it is heartbreaking to see cracks as thick as alligator’s skin at the bottom sole of many feet out there having great thirst for petroleum grease and for some reasons are constantly exposed through sandals, high heels showing those ashy parts, even going as far as committing the ultimate sin, to walk around bear feet.

 Who cares whether you want to oil yourself or not?
 Well if you don’t, that’s fine.  

At least don’t be the loudest simpleton on the block, don’t talk about someone else’s imperfection until you completely correct yours first, don’t draw attention to yourself unless Vaseline do you justice; then and only then you might earn the right to show how Vaseline should be our best friend.

 
 Yeah right!!!!

 Many have been doing this for years; that is to toss a coin into
a fountain, make a wish and hope for the best.  Since the economy is in trouble
worldwide, I’m sure the number of fountain wish makers quadrupled.  
 
This pet peeve is actually my brother’s.

 My dear beloved brother on a family vacation in Vegas (many water
fountains there), making the best of the moments while observing folks taking
their hard earned pennies and quarters to a fountain and hope for the best.  

I wonder how many times people do this per day or week or month
or year?

 If you didn’t get your wish after the third coin toss, what makes you think it’ll eventually pay off after maybe the 68,000th toss? 
 
Anyhow, the good thing is: if I’m unemployed, I know exactly
  where to get tax free money and pay my past due light bill……..THANKS EVERYONE!!! (Water
  fountain wishing folks).


 

Exotic Love.

9/6/2012

 
People looking for affection from their beloved exotic pets. 

Let it be known and understood that I am an animal lover and feel that those living creatures are designed for and should remain in the wild.  

    For some incredible reason, some people feel that they can domesticate a wild animal; that is to turn a diamond back into docile snake, a boa into soft loving hugging family member, a monkey or gorilla into a loving human infant/adult or perhaps a tiger, lion, puma, cheetah or a jaguar into a domestic cat….HOW SAD!!!      

    My problem is when those wild animals turn on their owner and those geniuses seek help from tax payers’ official resources to be rescued from their own negligence or misconduct against those animals. In addition, rescue officers are putting their own life at risk in order to perform such rescue mission.

  • You got a pet Burmese? Fine, once you figure out you can’t care for it, before it turns into 10, 12, 22 feet long snake, do the right thing; turn it over to animal shelters, don’t just release it to your neighborhood sewage system. If not, take your squeeze in peace, don’t call 911; squeeze it back if you can.
  • You got a pet gorilla? Fine, same principle applies, turn it over to animal shelters, and don’t you kill it for the fur. If not, once you can’t control that beast, you may have to let it bite your fingers and face off and if you feel like screaming, do so in silence so you don’t disturb your neighbors.

  • You got “Gaboon”viper? That’s not fine. In fact any venomous reptile isn’t fine to have. You don’t bring something like that in any community endangering everyone’s life. At one point you will get bitten and while twitching on the floor, this thing will be loose in your house or neighborhood; therefore will cause rescue officers to put their own life in danger for your stupid  mistake.

  • If you’re my neighbor and have a pet alligator, make sure it stays over on your side of the fence. If not, any gator on my property is fair game…Nice gator shoes for me and a nice gator purse for my wife and one excellent opportunity to have some grilled BBQ gator burger. 


BE RESPONSIBLE FOLKS!!!!
Look for love and affection in the right places.

Curb your dog!

8/26/2012

 
 People with dogs....should I go any further?
 
remember, dog poo is not a fertilizer. In fact, it is just as bad
if not worst as human feces.(Loaded with bacteria)
 
So boyz and girlz, when walking your dog, please, please, please
pick up the poo with your bare hands or with a plastic bag which ever you
prefer, but DO NOT LEAVE IT on any lawn, side walk, next to a tree, behind a
tree or anywhere that seems ok. It is an environmental hazard; it contributes to
air and water pollution. 

 
You don't have to take my word for it..
.......RESEARCH!!!

Gold Diggers

8/20/2012

 
 I was at my attorney’s office the other waiting and this woman
sitting across from me passionately got lost digging into her nose in deep
search for gold. After putting few minutes of hard work, she started to roll few
nuggets off her fingers and I imagine since they weren’t any value to her, she
just let the office carpet store them for future references. After some
extensive searches of both nostrils, the gold miner took a leave to head for the
ladies’ room and hopefully that was to wash her digging tools (fingers). 
 
Here’s my problem….
  That same hand I’m sure shook the attorney’s hand during salutation. Furthermore, she touched the door knob, thus meaning someone that day may have brought some of her “LOOGY”home. 
 
I have a big problem when people get so comfortable in their grooming quality time, they forget that the public, including myself, make up the audience.  Once again, I usually carry recording devices on me, but for some reason I can’t explain that day, I didn’t have my witness with me. 
  
This woman deserves a Youtube moment.

  Naaaassssstyyyyy!!!
 
Please everyone, WASH YOUR HANDS !!!

  Before eating,

  Before touching your spouses and children,

  After shaking hands with folks,

  After visiting public places where gold
miners may have been at work and the list goes on.


 Be safe and good health to you!!!